Journeying On

I feel like an update here is really overdue and I'm sorry for that.

Several times I have begun a blog post and then not published it. I ask myself what my readers out there want to know. Now that I am back in Canada, do people even think I have anything to say?

I don't know the answers to those questions, really. Instead of trying too hard to guess, I will just share some of what I've been up to and what I am thinking about these days.

I live in a beautiful house in my favourite part of Winnipeg, with a bunch of new roommates who are pretty fun. The house looks more and more lived-in all the time as these students gradually bring their stuff over from on-campus apartments. Recently a bunch of fish tanks arrived, and we are considering getting a cat. For the first time in my life, I pay attention to the recycling pick-up day and carry the box out to the curb in the morning myself.

I work at a bakery called Tall Grass Prairie Bread Company, and it's delightful. The people are fun, I get to bake (and clean a whole lot) and be paid for it, and I get to take food home at the end of the day. I like the philosophy of the bakery, which focuses on sustainability, particularly through using local and organic ingredients.

One of my favourite things about this job is that my work schedule is not the same every day. On one hand this can be annoying, since I have no steady sleep pattern, but it is also nice because I get to focus on different tasks depending on the day. When I go in at 5:00 a.m., I bake tons of stuff, prepare sandwiches, and mix recipes. If I go in at 10:30 a.m., I clean, clean, clean... and mix recipes. There is always someone fun to chat with, and I am learning how to more and more things on my own in the bakery.

The point of my returning to Winnipeg, most simply put, was to be with my loved ones. I cannot describe how good this has been for me. I am deeply thankful to be surrounded by my families, both the biological and the families I have chosen for myself. Most of all, I am happy to be home. I have come to realize that, for me, "home" is where Jonathan is.

Surely some of you wonder how the readjustment to life in Canada went. Some parts were easy, and some were less so. It was annoying to have five dollars in my pocket and still be unable to get on a bus, since drivers here can't give you change. The February winter weather, though, was astonishingly easy to get used to. It took me a month before I felt ready to look for a job, but walking into my churches immediately felt like home again.

It was tiring to have to keep answering the questions, "Why did you come back early?" and "How was your trip?" (You Radical Journeyers can all expect enough of the latter question after you return home to make you want to be sick.)

I am finally at a place where being at home in Winnipeg seems normal, and I have a daily routine that I not only like but which also makes me feel useful. I am very happy about that! Nonetheless, the echoes of my trip to Paraguay remain pervasive in my weeks. Even today, a song from the initial road trip to Chicago surprised me on the radio and brought tears to my eyes. That was such an emotional time. But then, so is this.

I am coming to realize that the radical journey I'm on is just going to continue. And that's okay.

Home, Sweet Home

Hello from snowy Winnipeg, Canada!

What? Winnipeg? Canada?

Yes, it's true. I have returned home early. It's not just a visit; I have opted, in consultation with a lot of trusted people, to end my time of service in Paraguay in February.

Why?

There is a lot I could say about that. Instead, I will say simply that it was time for me to go home.

My time in Paraguay was full of blessings. I have made many connections with wonderful people, learned to appreciate and live as part of a culture different from my own, and learned Spanish. I have grown in a lot of ways, I think, learning probably far more than I taught. In being so far from Winnipeg, I have gained a new perspective on my relationships back home. I have realized what to cherish and some things to change.

I am back in Winnipeg, in some ways a different person than I left. Re-adjusting to life here will surely have some ups and downs. I am thrilled, for instance, to be spending time with the people I love most in the world, and not at all thrilled about how hard it is for me to handle the cold weather.

So. This blog will be a place now for stories of re-adjustment, reflections on the experiences I had in Paraguay, and encouraging my teammates who carry on in the program. Thanks to all of you who have followed my adventures thus far, and who have supported me with your prayers. Many laughs and tears and six flights later, I can say:

"God, in her great love, has brought me safely home. Thanks be to God!"

It´s 2009!

That means I have had a birthday and have celebrated Christmas and New Year´s in Paraguay. I want to share all of this with you visually, but for the sake of efficiency, I am opting to send you to my Facebook album. Copy this address into your web bar and hit "enter": http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=560&l=cc9aa&id=162400025

(You do not have to ever visit Facebook again, nor "sign up." Just look at the pictures!)

Christmas was different but great! It was a big family affair, with a huge barbecue late in the evening leading up to fireworks. The idea is that the fireworks happen at midnight, but really they happen more or less perpetually after dark. :) The food was delicious, the wine and cider and pop flowed, and love abounded. What more could one ask for in a celebration?

I should mention that some parts of Christmas felt familiar and traditional. Those moments were really special because they were hard to come by. Many thanks to my friends Santiago, Scott, and especially Alcides, for helping me find glimpses of Christmas as I know it. Some of these included seeing decked-out Christmas trees, attending a candlelight service, and opening gifts from Canada.

My birthday was a big deal! In Canada, my birthday is totally overshadowed by Christmas -- and fair enough, Jesus should win that popularity contest -- but here having my birthday rocks. I got SO many calls and text messages! Plus e-mails from Canada. I felt pretty special. Thanks, guys. And thank you, Paraguayan culture, I guess, for being so relationally oriented!

I spent New Year´s in the Chaco with my host sister and paternal grandparents. It was pretty quiet, but that was good for me! I recuperated both my energy and my faith in the ethnic-and-faith group from which I come.

Now I am in Formosa, Argentina. Technically that´s because I need to renew my Paraguayan visa... but while I am here, I plan to have some fun. That should be easy! Lots of young people, beach, music, making our own food... Wooooooot!

If you´re worrying that I have forgotten about Ciudad del Este, don´t worry. I know that there is still English to be taught. That should get easier with a more specific curriculum being put in place, and with my group of students remaining stable now. Not only that, but I think that the countdowns that keep me stable on lonely days will accelerate. First my dad will visit, then there is a team vacation, then Jon visits, then Mennonite World Conference happens, then re-entry retreat, and then return to Winnipeg!

So many things to look forward to! May the days fly until August 1st... but may I nonetheless go slowly enough to savour the blessings coming my way.

The Advent season that wasn´t

Christmas is approaching! But most of the time, I can´t tell.

I ask myself, "How do I usually know that Christmas is coming?"

Well, there is the snow falling in beautiful, fluffy flakes. I definitely missed that cue if it ever happened out here. I am getting used to sweating at all times, seeking out shade and breezes and fans automatically. The pattern of getting up early, staying up late, and sleeping the midday away makes more sense now than ever.

Then there is the cue of cheesy Christmas music on the radio, starting about a month before it should. That definitely didn´t happen here. Radio music is still reggaeton beats and the occasional romantic song from the 90´s or before. Christmas music here means "We wish you a merry Christmas." You think I´m kidding, but I am not.

There are the decorations of pine and red ribbon and glass ornaments. Nope, not here. On the rare occasions that I see them, it´s in big stores that are imitating the West. My favourite thing is the surprisingly popular icicle-style Christmas lights that dangle in strings. I love them in Winnipeg and I love them here.

Family traditions like baking and decorating cookies, setting up the tree, and celebrating at huge gatherings... All of those are obviously not going to happen here. I am on another continent than my family, so fair enough.

More than anything -- even more than the snow and lights that I love -- I miss the way the Church anticipates Christmas back in Canada. Here the concept of Advent is one that requires explaining. The Mennonite churches, at least, don´t do anything unusual. Sundays in December are like every other Sunday. The person preaching picks some passages to be read and preaches on a theme. But in my mind, this is supposed to be the Advent season. I miss lighting candles. I miss progressively decorating. I miss the familiar passages and the atmosphere rife with anticipation. I want to feel like Christmas is coming!!!

To be honest, I fear Christmas will be no big deal at all in the church here. I am happy to be rid of all the consumeristic baggage attached to Christmas in Canada... but not to be rid of Christmas entirely. It makes me really sad to be missing out on the benefit of a church-led Advent season.

It looks like this year, if I want Advent to be meaningful, it will be a do-it-myself event. Anybody got candles?

Danger -- Contents May Overheat!

These days, I often joke that my head is going to explode. But I´m only half joking.

I am learning SO MUCH STUFF.

First of all, of course, I am still working on my Spanish. On top of that, it seems that everyone I meet -- especially the older generation -- is keen to teach me Guaraní. This is OK with me, because I am eager to learn.

However, now that I am in Ciudad del Este, these languages are no longer enough. It is a given that I will pick up some Portuguese, as the majority of the merchants downtown are from Brazil and conduct business in Portuguese. If I want to go shopping, ever, some Portuguese would be a good idea. It´s not so much that it is necessary, as that it is considered rude not to make an effort.

There is also a lot of Arabic spoken in businesses downtown. Gulp. My host dad keeps saying phrases to me in Arabic at random times. It´s a game for me now, to guess at what he might be saying. I understand absolutely nothing, except for Allah and Isa. (If only his favourite expression were Insh´Allah.) As it is, I can´t imagine a language with a more beautiful sound, but I am making absolutely no effort to learn Arabic. My poor brain is doing all it reasonably can.

But don´t think for a moment that I am learning nothing but languages. No, no.

My students are eager to reciprocate by teaching me things, in exchange for English. Thus it happens that I had my first violin lesson this morning. I am pretty excited about the possibilities of this new endeavour.

Furthermore, one of my host dad´s nieces (so my cousin, I guess) is going to teach me to dance. Not the traditional Paraguayan style -- the contemporary stuff. That way I can dance along to the incessant Reggaeton beat that pumps through every neighbourhood. Those who know me well, know that I love to dance. It´s part of my embodied way of experiencing music, and joy.

Of course, I am learning to make traditional Paraguay foods and drinks. I love to cook, and my year would hardly be complete without some new favourite dishes. If I can serve a vegetarian, African-inspired dish in Paraguay, I better come home able to cook something Paraguayan!

Who knows what else I will pick up while I am here? I love to learn, so I am soaking it all up. That´s my plan for the whole year...

Unless my head explodes first.

Disenchantment

I think I have fallen out of love.

(No, not with Jonathan.)

I have fallen out of love with a version of Paraguay I knew. That was the Paraguay that centers around Mennonite colonies in the Chaco; the Paraguay where the cities full of Spanish-speakers are more dangerous than they are exciting; the Paraguay in which White Mennonites only ever relate to Paraguayos and Indigenous people as workers on their farms.

Yep. I am definitely out of love.


The good news is that I am falling in love afresh... with a version of Paraguay that I like much better.

Living with a Paraguayo family for a month has given me new eyes with which to see this place. I am learning to live as part of a warm, relationship-oriented culture. It is so person-affirming to greet absolutely everyone when you enter a conversation circle, with at least a handshake and a "¿Que tal?" if not with a hug and kisses. It makes sense to me that relationships should matter more than task efficiency. I like seeing that principle in practice here!

I am coming to value the traditional knowledge that is still passed on here, in ways that I think many older persons in Canada would envy. The elderly are revered as sources of knowledge and wisdom. Young people learn as matters of fact which remedios yuyos (remedial herbs) have which health benefits when added to the tereré water. Children work as apprentices with their parents outside of school hours, so they can make a living of their own eventually. This is especially important for those who do not complete high school or go on to university studies. Whether learning to cook or do laundry or chop wood or drive a tractor or brand cattle, children learn by doing, alongside their parents and grandparents.


I am growing to love the scenery, from the sunrises in the flat, dry Chaco, to the lushly green rolling hills and lake by Ciudad del Este. The blend of languages engages my attention and keeps me forever learning. (At present I am working on Spanish, Guaraní, Portuguese, and even Arabic. Imagine!) The people are curious and friendly. The red earth does not cease to fascinate me, and I am most curious as to what will happen when I start composting. Paraguayans live with gusto, and while the loud and repetitive reggaeton music sometimes gets to me, there is something irresistible about a place that vigorously celebrates everything from birthdays to soccer victories. I can hardly wait until Christmas -- apparently even the toddlers set off age-appropriate fireworks!!!

Now, more than ever, I get to spend one-on-one time with this culture I am coming to love. I am in Ciudad del Este, five hours away from the North Americans who came to Paraguay with me. When I resort to English words to explain myself, I am met with blank stares. Yep, this is the real deal -- like the potentially tough marriage that follows a wonderful period of dating.

I have an opportunity in this new setting to not only fall in love... but to choose to love. Pray that I may learn how to live that out.

Languages, languages...

"Monolingualism CAN be cured!"

That slogan graced the classroom of one of my high school French teachers. I always liked the poster -- it was easy for me to be smug since I already knew Low German, German, and English -- but only in Paraguay have I realized what a strange North American phenomenon monolingualism actually is.

Pretty much everyone here speaks at least two languages. For most of the population, that means Spanish and Guaraní. For the colony Mennonites, it means German and Plautdietsch (which may or may not be considered different languages -- I argue that they are) and Spanish. In addition to these, there are a considerable number of Asian languages spoken in parts of Paraguay; one prime example is the Japanese colonies in the eastern part of the country. In regions near the Brazilian border, of course, there are a lot of people who speak Portuguese. There seems to be a widespread desire for English-language training because of the economic opportunities that knowing English brings, and this is reflected in the public school curriculum.

There is so much to say about being surrounded by all this language that I hardly know where to begin.

Let me make the observation, first of all, that it is wonderful to be so well understood. In a number of the places that our group finds itself, there are people present who speak Spanish AND English AND German... If we find ourselves at a loss for words in Spanish, we can resort to explaining ourselves in another language and the conversation flows on virtually uninterrupted. Just today at lunch, I was conversing in Spanish at a table at CEMTA (the Mennonite seminary here -- a lot like CMU, except culturally modified). When the fact that I knew German was brought up, the conversation switched to German, except for one girl who understood perfectly but always spoke in Spanish. The conversation flowed like this with no difficulty for anyone! It´s wonderful.

I am still waiting for a chance to converse with someone here in French, but I am sure the opportunity will arise. It did last year! At the moment, the French language is pretty much my best friend, since the grammatical structures and many words are so similar to those of Spanish. This is making it possible for me to learn Castellano (Spanish) much more quickly than I could have otherwise. The Spanish language is very intuitive and logical, and the more I learn Spanish, the more I wonder why English -- which is, let´s admit it, a ridiculously illogical and irregular language -- is becoming a global language. Spanish is far easier to learn!

The second thing I really want to say is that I love and am fascinated by the fact that, in Paraguayan culture, the indigenous language of Guaraní is absolutely pervasive. It seems so entirely normal here, that it makes me wonder why the notion of widely using an Aboriginal language seems so strange in Canada. To be honest, I am really starting to want to learn Guaraní. At the very least, I will collect a wide assortment of phrases and words that pepper the daily use of Spanish within families and among friends in Paraguay. Furthermore, I am beginning to think seriously about learning Cree when I get back to Canada.

We English teachers-to-be received a brief article the other day (check it out at http://www.mwc-cmm.org/en/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=186&Itemid=108) outlining the eight languages of translation at next year´s Mennonite World Conference assembly. The languages are as follows: Spanish, English, Guaraní, Enlhet, Nivaclé, German, French, and Portuguese. THREE of those are local indigenous languages!!! Perhaps the fact that I find this so exciting and unusual reflects my own country´s marginalization and neglect of our indigenous languages and cultures. I am rather under-exposed to this sort of thing. It is delightful for me to be in a place where being rooted in indigenous culture and language is not a matter of shame, but rather cause for pride.

Meeting youngsters who are fluent in two or more languages, young adults who are working on their fourth or fifth language, and older adults who are determined to learn English to complement their Spanish and Guaraní, is inspiring. The enthusiasm and language-learning efforts of the people here are humbling. Not only that, but their generous spirit makes it easy to want to join them in this quest for even greater communication ability. In theory, I suppose, my "joining in" is supposed to take the form of me teaching, and to some extent it will. But what I really want is to learn.

This hunger for learning, I think, is precisely the cure for the monolingualism found in many parts of North America. Hopefully, it is also the start of a cure for our underlying arrogance.